all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
