And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
