in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize