why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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