My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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