Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
