I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
