i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
