I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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