You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize