come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
