there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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