Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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