Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
