to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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