I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
