Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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