who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
