If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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