I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
