aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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