last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
