Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
