Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize