If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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