The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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