your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
