We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
