So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Everything about him screamed your future.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
