Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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