shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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