That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
