brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
