i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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