Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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