oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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