You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
