ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Best friends brother. Beat that.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
