My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
His hands were made for my vagina.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
