the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
