Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
