I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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