i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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