why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
