There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
