I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
