do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize