how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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