there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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