In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
