So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
