OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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