Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
