I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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