dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
