sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Farmville is her only friend.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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