Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
