I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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