bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
