Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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