i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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