The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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