Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
