yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
