Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
