YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Are we in a gay sports bar?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Dick very happy bro
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
